• Martin Benefer

What Are You Waiting For?

Updated: Jun 19



What's holding you back?

When's the last time someone asked you "what are you waiting for?" and actually waited for an answer?

When was the last time you asked this of yourself?


It's a question that gets asked casually and rhetorically, often without desire for an answer.

It lazily, and rather bluntly, implies that you should "hurry up", "crack on" and "get it done"...but how?!


First off, I encourage you to genuinely ask yourself "what am I waiting for?" and truly consider the answer.

Whatever your goal, be it large or small, what's holding you back right now from working towards it?

  • Are you waiting for more time?

  • More money?

  • More energy?

  • Are you waiting for other people?

  • A specific change of circumstance?

  • Or are you even simply waiting for the storm to pass?


Take your chances

Looking out my window (at yet another summer deluge!) I'm reminded of the above photo:

Staring out the window of the Laban Rata resthouse, 3272m up Mt Kinabalu in Borneo, wondering if the storm would pass.


What the picture doesn't show is just how drenched I already was in getting that far.

And how challenging but enjoyable the ascent in the monsoon had already been.


Nor can it convey the hope and anxiety I felt, wishing for things outside of my control to change in my favour so I could attempt the summit the following morning and achieve my goal.


The weather that week had been awful and the forecast was not looking good, for sunshine or for our chances.


Having taken a chance by setting off in order to get that far, we were now at the mercy of external factors.

We prepared for the outcome we wanted - a gap in the weather - and waited.


Luckily, despite continual rain through the night, the storm subsided in the early hours, just in time for our ascent.

We set off at 4am, reaching the 4095m summit in time for a stunning sunrise.

One step at a time

Had we made our decision of whether or not to start based on conditions at the beginning we never would have gone. We would not have attempted Mt Kinabalu and we would not have succeeded in our goal.


We made a decision to start, to focus on the things we could control, to prepare for circumstances to change in our favour...and to accept that it might not work.


We took a chance...and it paid off.



As a coach, working with clients, I often find that

the goal is not the problem.


A big barrier to even attempting to achieve goals lies at the very start and the apprehension that is caused by contemplating how and when to begin.



The desire to know the end can prevent you from beginning

We all wrestle with ideas and attempt to formulate plans that will maximise our chance of success, minimise the risk of failure and help us feel in control of our futures.


It's natural. But is it helpful?


To some extent, yes. You probably don't want to climb a mountain without any idea of your path to the top.

But do you need to know every step?

And do you need to know you'll succeed before you try?

And if you did, would the journey be the same? Would it be as good?



Find your barrier

Do you know what's preventing you from making a start to achieve your goals?

There can be many reasons. Below are just a few:

  • Fear of failure

  • Desire for control

  • Low motivation to succeed

  • Limited resources

  • Uncertainty

  • Low confidence

  • Overwhelm


Once you know the barriers you can make inroads to tackle them.

If your head spins when you think of it, then it might be the wrong goal, the wrong reason to achieve it, or you may be focused on the wrong barriers.


Take the first step and ask yourself: "What am I waiting for?"

And if there's no good answer, get started!


Good luck!

Martin

For more information go to www.stillwater-coaching.co.uk

Email: martin@stillwater-coaching.co.uk

Phone: (+44) 07969 653 024

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